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[thecodexabides]

Gadriel's busy praising the Emperor or something. He'll get back to you asap. 

Comments

No worries!!

[thecodexabides]

I was not trying to fight with him.

he refused to take my offer. I would not have fought him.


My problem is I have forgotten who I am. I have let this place corrupt me.
It has

obviously

caused problems.

[daddywarden]

What was your offer exactly?

I don’t think you’re listening. Why do you think it’s corrupted you?

[thecodexabides]

He had attempted to kill me before.

i invited him to try again when I was
slightly

less helpless.

As retribution
for the harm I had caused to another Visitor.

It is corrupting me because I am hurting people--Nina. Sky, Lydia--who get close to me.

That is not supposed to happen.

[daddywarden]

[ He sighs because this was supposed to be a straight forward ‘Stop upsetting Nina’ talk but now look where they are. ]

Okay, well stop that. Stop inviting Finnick to kill you or attempt to. You don’t have to get along but stop fighting and putting Nina in the middle.

She cares about you both. Be grateful for that.

How are you hurting people? By not listening?

[thecodexabides]

I was unaware until then that they were so close. [Which was why he had shifted to talking to him, trying to reason with him, and not goading him into attack. ].

why would i be grateful
for something that has caused her pain?

She should not worry about me at least. If I am not worried about dying or
being injured
why should she?

[daddywarden]

Be grateful that she cares, that’s what I mean.

Because she cares!

[ He has a realization. ]

You’re not hard to people caring about you, aren’t you?

[thecodexabides]

I do not want her to feel pain,

because of me. I am not grateful that knowing me hurts her.

Davrin. I am an asset in war. When I die, my armor is reclaimed and my geneseed harvested.
What is the point of anyone caring about me?

[daddywarden]

Maybe you don’t but you can’t change it. Thats the one side to caring.

I reached out to you because I was worried about her. But I wouldn’t give up knowing her just to spare me discomfort.

Yeah yeah and I’m a weapon of war too. I’m meant to have no ties and to fight the Darkspawn until I die but here I am. It doesn’t mean I don’t have a heart or want more.

Look, do you care about Nina? Or the others you mentioned?

[thecodexabides]

Nina means a great deal to me. She is...she understands
or at least tries to
when no one does.

And she corrects me when I am wrong.

I do not think I offer her anything in return. [Which is not a great feeling. It's not supposed to be one-sided, is it?]

If anything happened to Nina, I would tear this place into pieces until I felt she had been properly avenged. [Basically, that's 'I care a LOT']

[daddywarden]

Good to know, now I have another person to call if anything happens to her.

But answer me this, if you can care, why can’t they?

[thecodexabides]

Because.

[No, that's not the end of it. He had to think about it. It took time, so there was a long gap before the reply. ]

because she has others who depend on her. Like you.

It is like
an arch. Without the capstone, the arch cannot hold. Some pieces are more important than others.

Nina is like that. A capstone.

[daddywarden]

She is important.

But telling someone not to care about you is a shitty thing to do, both to them and to yourself.

You can’t go this alone. It’s not corruption to care about others. All pushing people away does is leave you lonely.

[thecodexabides]

why? [Honest question. He doesn't get it. ]

she knows I care about her.
A great deal. [In an entirely asexual platonic brother/sister way. which still feels weird to say to Nina's boyfriend.]

[So I am lonely.
there are worse things.

Like having to kill someone you care about.

[daddywarden]

[ No one can see him but he is pinching the bridge of his nose at the moment. ]

It sounds like you did it for the right reason. I'm sure they'll forgive you.

Look, just try to fix things with Finnick?

[thecodexabides]

If they do not, they do not have to. Forgiveness is not a right. [Lioriley had refused his apology, withholding her forgiveness.]

HOW

I have rescinded my right to retaliate against him.
I have given him advice about armor--good advice.
I sent NIna after him when he ran off.

What more would you have me do?

[daddywarden]

I guess you're right.

What's his problem with you then?

[thecodexabides]

I do not know.

He does not listen to me. He is like a Blood Angel. All he sees when he sees me is rage.

Perhaps he would listen to you.

[daddywarden]

[ Shit. ]

I'll probably talk to you later.