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[thecodexabides]

Gadriel's busy praising the Emperor or something. He'll get back to you asap. 

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[thecodexabides]

I think I am the one who is 'cursed.' Unless it happens with your other friends. [He doesn't mean to make such minimal answers. He just...he can't handle too much at a time right now.]

[wildwarden]

Certainly not to this degree. ( She laughed; mirthless. )

I don't think it's your fault. I think you're just... unlucky enough to know me. And I'm sorry. Really.

I'm around, if you ever want to talk, or... yeah. Probably dumb to invite you over. ( She kept her voice low. Maybe he wouldn't hear the way she choked up. ) I'll just fuck it up again.

[thecodexabides]

There is no apology needed.

Sky. I killed you. I felt you die. You had to know that it was me.

[He's pretty sure she and he should not be around each other--for her safety.]

[wildwarden]

( but she hated that. She didn't want that. It wasn't fair.)

I felt everything. I heard everything. I know who killed me.

But you did it out of mercy. You did it to protect other people.

I'll never blame you for it, for whatever that's worth.

[thecodexabides]

Did I?

Are you certain that that was why I did it?

[Because he's not, anymore.]

[wildwarden]

Yes.

You tried to get me back, but I wasn't in there. I wasn't coming back. Killing me was a mercy — a freedom. Most wouldn't be able to do it, and I would have just suffered more; hurt more people.

[thecodexabides]

I succeeded because I am exactly what they said about me here. That I am dangerous. Too powerful to be safe around.

[wildwarden]

I always felt safe around you, Gadriel. ( She did, truly, when they had those moments together that were always ruined by tragedy. By her. )

What you did was a kindness, one I'd ask you to do if it ever truly happened, even if I hate knowing how it would hurt you.

[thecodexabides]

You should not. No one should.

Because I would do it again. [It was his duty, to extirpate heresy, to purge evil. He would do it again. But he shouldn't. ]

[wildwarden]

But I did. I still do.

You wouldn't hurt me now, would you? So what's the problem.

[thecodexabides]

The problem is ME. [If it were video he would hold up his hands, show the stain of her blood still on his armor because he hadn't had the heart or stomach to wash it off yet.]

How can I come near you with hands that have spilled your blood?

[wildwarden]

( it is a fair point, but Night Sky doesn't like pushing people away, especially someone she likes. Someone who was willing to do something truly terrible to give her the freedom she always wanted. Not many people would understand that.)

I — I don't know. If it's too much for you, I won't make you. I'll keep my distance, if that's what you want.

[thecodexabides]

[A heavy sigh. The last thing he wanted was to be a burden, to be something she had to avoid. ]

Sky, you do not have to avoid me.

I am glad you are safe.

Are you at your home? With the bath?

[wildwarden]

But it sounds like you want me to, so I don't know what you want, Gadriel.

I am.

[thecodexabides]

Because I do not know what I want, either!

I want it to never have happened. But that is not possible.

[wildwarden]

( there's a soft, little sound of distress.)

It's not. I guess... take some time to think? I'll be here, if you need me.

You know where to find me.