Humor is part of squad morale, yes. Like when I reminded Brother Chairon of the time he got trapped on an elevator full of Orks. [It was funny only because Chairon had been the only one to exit the elevator alive. High comedy.
[Is she trying to explain humor to him? He understands humor. Sort of. In his own way.]
I understand. [He absolutely does not. He is ready for instructions.]
Ah, yes, just so. [ There is probably a lot to unpack with that, but the point is that he's aware of what humor is. Which she had not been entirely convinced of. Assuming things about Gadriel's social skills seemed... unwise. ]
Alright, the formula for a knock-knock joke is thus: You begin by saying 'Knock knock', and the other person must reply 'Who's there?'. If they do not do this, you can politely ask them. Then you say the first part of the joke -- what this is will vary, as there are many variations of knock-knock jokes. Whatever you say, the other person will repeat it back to you, adding a 'Who?' to the ending. Then you finish the joke.
An example: Person A says 'Knock knock.' Person B says 'Who's there?'. Person A says 'Tank'. And Person B replies 'Tank who?'. Person A says 'You're welcome!'. The joke is that person A set it up so that Person B said 'Tank who', which sounds like 'Thank you'.
Do you follow, so far?
[ There is something very odd about explaining the minutiae of a joke -- Is she treating Gadriel too unwitting? He's not a stupid man. But a sense of humor is as much a skill as archery, and you do not give someone a bow and assume they can fire an arrow. ]
It would close within one night, burned, and the earth salted where it stood.
Why do you knock? Why not just use a fragmentation grenade? [See, she thought she'd have to explain humor to him. He understands humor. It's basic things like doors that confuse him.]
Wait, no -- the idea of the knocking is to represent knocking on a door, like you want to be let into a person's house. That is why the response is 'Who's there?'. The person asking the joke is pretending to knock on the other person's door, and the response from the other person is pretending to ask who is at their door.
[ Where did the grenade even come into play?? He is truly a mystery at times. ]
[ She has to take a long moment to try to wrap her head around what the hell Gadriel was talking about. ]
Gadriel -- people usually... Well, usually in my world, and here, if you haven't noticed, keep their door closed regularly. You knock if you wish to enter their house. If they don't want to be interrupted, then they don't answer.
It can be assumed that the person who is engaging in the joke with you wishes to engage in wordplay. If they do not, then they will let you know. Or ignore you. Just like someone who doesn't wish for company when they knock on their door.
[Believe it or not this is not a thing Gadriel has dealt with much here.]
Doors are unnecessary risks for heresy. Many things can happen behind closed doors. None of them good. [You want him to interrupt heresy? Wait. That's not the worst idea.] We do not have them.
If I used a door and did not wish for company, I would shoot whoever was attempting to interrupt me. Is that a risk?
[ She'd argue about the closed doors thing... but then he says something even crazier than normal. ]
Gadriel. [ Now she sounds aggrieved. ] You can't shoot people for trying to seek your company! Either ignore them, or use your words! It's not a risk for anyone else!
And it's supposed to be a joke! No one is going to shoot you for a knock-knock joke.
...And you shouldn't shoot anyone for knocking. You'll have have all of Caldera outraged at you, and that is the opposite of what this exercise is for.
[ What the heck is a gun. Well, bolts go in crossbows: Maybe it's some kind of fancy crossbow, fit for a guy Gadriel's size. Makes sense to her. ]
I am asking you to pretend that you are knocking when you start the joke off. It's the set up for the joke. There are no real doors involved. And I'm quite confident no one will shoot you for it. [ Unless they really and truly can't stand knock knock jokes. ]
Do you understand the basis? I have a book I got for you, that has plenty of knock knock jokes, so you will just have to read them. We can test a few out, if you are unsure.
[Ma'am you are asking him to have and use an imagination.]
This seems unnecessary. Why would I pretend there was a door to attempt to amuse someone? Are they laughing at me hallucinating doors? [This sounds vaguely humiliating. He'd rather be shot at.]
You got a book...for me? [...what? A gift? It's so...thoughtful! He might need a moment. ]
[ The only way for him to learn to use it is to try! ]
They won't think you're hallucinating, they will be laughing at the joke. And I suppose it depends on your definition of necessary -- I will not force you to do this, but I think it would help you make friends and get better at socializing with other Visitors.
And yes. I thought you'd like having a book to help. [ It is a Bioware Protagonist's sacred duty to give their companions gifts. ]
This sounds...unwise. [But she is an Inquisitor and she could command him to do it and maybe it was part of his penance? If so, he had asked for something challenging and painful, but he had been thinking more along the lines of, well, physical pain.]
I got you nothing in return, however. [You can't just give people gifts out of the blue like that. ]
[ The most challenging form of pain is stepping outside of what you know and growing from it. What Beleth is asking of him is, in her opinion, far harder than if she just gave him twenty lashes, or whatever. And far longer lasting than a simple wound.
That is the reality of the ruthlessness behind the gentleness: Not to simply assign some mundane physical pain that can be forgotten once it is healed, but to make Gadriel grow as a person. ]
Hmm. You can do me a favor. There are two men that I know, that I think could use a little practice with humor, as well. [ And she sends Gadriel the handles for Solas and Felassan both. ] Try out one of the jokes on the two of them -- the more esoteric, the better. That way, you can aid me as I attempt to train them, as well.
[ Maybe she CAN be evil and ruthless when she wants to be. ]
Edited (i decided felassan should suffer too) 2025-02-27 18:42 (UTC)
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thecodexabides) wrote2025-01-01 01:22 pm
Listen Decimus is HILARIOUS
[Is she trying to explain humor to him? He understands humor. Sort of. In his own way.]
I understand. [He absolutely does not. He is ready for instructions.]
cant wait for the astartes comedy club
Alright, the formula for a knock-knock joke is thus: You begin by saying 'Knock knock', and the other person must reply 'Who's there?'. If they do not do this, you can politely ask them. Then you say the first part of the joke -- what this is will vary, as there are many variations of knock-knock jokes. Whatever you say, the other person will repeat it back to you, adding a 'Who?' to the ending. Then you finish the joke.
An example: Person A says 'Knock knock.' Person B says 'Who's there?'. Person A says 'Tank'. And Person B replies 'Tank who?'. Person A says 'You're welcome!'. The joke is that person A set it up so that Person B said 'Tank who', which sounds like 'Thank you'.
Do you follow, so far?
[ There is something very odd about explaining the minutiae of a joke -- Is she treating Gadriel too unwitting? He's not a stupid man. But a sense of humor is as much a skill as archery, and you do not give someone a bow and assume they can fire an arrow. ]
It would close within one night, burned, and the earth salted where it stood.
omg lmao
[ Where did the grenade even come into play?? He is truly a mystery at times. ]
no subject
Why do they have doors. What are they trying to hide? [why have so few Ultramarines fallen to Chaos? Probably this. ]
no subject
Gadriel -- people usually... Well, usually in my world, and here, if you haven't noticed, keep their door closed regularly. You knock if you wish to enter their house. If they don't want to be interrupted, then they don't answer.
It can be assumed that the person who is engaging in the joke with you wishes to engage in wordplay. If they do not, then they will let you know. Or ignore you. Just like someone who doesn't wish for company when they knock on their door.
no subject
Doors are unnecessary risks for heresy. Many things can happen behind closed doors. None of them good. [You want him to interrupt heresy? Wait. That's not the worst idea.] We do not have them.
If I used a door and did not wish for company, I would shoot whoever was attempting to interrupt me. Is that a risk?
no subject
Gadriel. [ Now she sounds aggrieved. ] You can't shoot people for trying to seek your company! Either ignore them, or use your words! It's not a risk for anyone else!
And it's supposed to be a joke! No one is going to shoot you for a knock-knock joke.
...And you shouldn't shoot anyone for knocking. You'll have have all of Caldera outraged at you, and that is the opposite of what this exercise is for.
[ Does she have to be concerned about this now. ]
no subject
You are the one expecting me to knock on other people's closed doors. I should know what the risks are. [Should he don his helmet? ]
no subject
I am asking you to pretend that you are knocking when you start the joke off. It's the set up for the joke. There are no real doors involved. And I'm quite confident no one will shoot you for it. [ Unless they really and truly can't stand knock knock jokes. ]
Do you understand the basis? I have a book I got for you, that has plenty of knock knock jokes, so you will just have to read them. We can test a few out, if you are unsure.
no subject
This seems unnecessary. Why would I pretend there was a door to attempt to amuse someone? Are they laughing at me hallucinating doors? [This sounds vaguely humiliating. He'd rather be shot at.]
You got a book...for me? [...what? A gift? It's so...thoughtful! He might need a moment. ]
no subject
They won't think you're hallucinating, they will be laughing at the joke. And I suppose it depends on your definition of necessary -- I will not force you to do this, but I think it would help you make friends and get better at socializing with other Visitors.
And yes. I thought you'd like having a book to help. [ It is a Bioware Protagonist's sacred duty to give their companions gifts. ]
no subject
I got you nothing in return, however. [You can't just give people gifts out of the blue like that. ]
no subject
That is the reality of the ruthlessness behind the gentleness: Not to simply assign some mundane physical pain that can be forgotten once it is healed, but to make Gadriel grow as a person. ]
Hmm. You can do me a favor. There are two men that I know, that I think could use a little practice with humor, as well. [ And she sends Gadriel the handles for Solas and Felassan both. ] Try out one of the jokes on the two of them -- the more esoteric, the better. That way, you can aid me as I attempt to train them, as well.
[ Maybe she CAN be evil and ruthless when she wants to be. ]
no subject
I will do my best. [It will be terrible.]